1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:03,350 So, for Halloween... 2 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,790 I'm not doing a couples costume. 3 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:06,420 That's not what I was going to say, 4 00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:07,920 but since you brought it up, this year, 5 00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:10,390 Halloween does fall on a Saturday... date night. 6 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,300 You wear a black dress, I go as ALF, 7 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,600 and you're my puppeteer! 8 00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:14,930 You love black dresses 9 00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:16,230 and putting words into my mouth. 10 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,500 ALF was a puppet? 11 00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:18,860 Yoo-hoo! It's us. 12 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,900 Ooh, give me those fat baby thighs. 13 00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,780 Why is there no baby? Where's the baby? 14 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,380 Sleeping safely at home. 15 00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:28,790 We're testing out the new baby monitor. 16 00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:30,190 Yeah. This is the farthest 17 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,490 we've ever gone without her. 18 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,460 I can sit on your stoop and drink a glass of wine. 19 00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:37,150 - Oh. - Oh. 20 00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,719 End of the line. Listen... 21 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,519 we didn't just come here for monitor science. 22 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,490 We came to ask if you two would consider 23 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,200 being godparents to Maria. 24 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,500 Oh, yes, yes, yes! 25 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,570 - Oh! - Oh! 26 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,600 That's wonderful. Thank you. 27 00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,370 I knew it would either be us or Bill and Melinda Gates. 28 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,760 We'd be happy to be your death back-up parents. 29 00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:01,040 And you know the great thing about godparents? 30 00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:02,710 They're always up for babysitting. 31 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,680 We'd be honored. Any time. 32 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,880 Yes! 33 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,740 How about Saturday night? Date night. 34 00:01:07,770 --> 00:01:09,060 Ooh! 35 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,780 But that's Halloween. 36 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,440 Is it? We'll do it. 37 00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:13,890 - All right! - Yay! 38 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:30,700 - Synced and corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 39 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,119 I'm gonna make you an offer 40 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,860 you can't refuse. 41 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,330 Are you The Penguin from "Batman"? 42 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,430 'Cause he wears a top hat. 43 00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:41,250 I'm The Godfather. 44 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:43,220 You tried to kill Halloween with babysitting, 45 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:44,790 but you've only made it stronger. 46 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,159 Now I can do a couples costume 47 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,659 with Marvin and Honey's baby. 48 00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:49,490 She'll be the severed horse's head. 49 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,510 Her little face peeking out of the horse's mouth? 50 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,860 I die. I die just thinking about it. 51 00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,080 What if she suffocates? 52 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,580 Wasn't married to it. 53 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,300 So, have you boys figured out 54 00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:00,940 your joint Halloween costume yet? 55 00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:02,980 We're gonna be Fred and Barney from "The Flintstones." 56 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,070 No. I'm gonna need you both in pants, 57 00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:06,720 especially since the two of you 58 00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,440 are gonna be handing out candy this year. 59 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:12,110 - That is, if you're up for it. - Listening. 60 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:13,700 One piece of candy per kid, 61 00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,990 nobody gets anything for just a Dolphins jersey, 62 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,210 and no white sheets. 63 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,780 It's either a lazy ghost or something much worse. 64 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,980 Dad, don't worry. We've got this. 65 00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:23,679 Good, because one false move, 66 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,960 and the house gets egged. 67 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,200 Sure, we can clean it all up, 68 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,320 but the shame will last for years. 69 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:31,660 Okay. 70 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,670 So, the plan for Halloween is to meet the guys 71 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,200 at the cemetery at sundown. 72 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,530 Spending the night there is gonna be so creepy fun. 73 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:38,920 Yeah, sure, cool. 74 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,520 Eddie, I'm not feeling heard by you. 75 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,570 Sorry. I'm trying to find a job so I can buy a car. 76 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,640 Ooh! The country club's hiring! 77 00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,660 Do bathroom tenants get to pee on the job, or... ? 78 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,280 Do they have to hold it? 79 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,319 If you want a job, 80 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,919 why don't you just go back to Cattleman's? 81 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,380 I'm not trying to work at my pop's restaurant my whole life. 82 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:56,920 I got my own plans. 83 00:02:57,020 --> 00:02:58,790 I want to prove I can do this myself. 84 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,370 But you're still bringing the day-old ribs 85 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,660 to the cemetery, right? 86 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,360 Of course. It's gonna be awesome. 87 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,700 I've memorized things Brian's dead grandma used to say. 88 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,460 Gonna scare the crap out of him. 89 00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:09,930 "I once got hit on by Ronald Reagan." 90 00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:12,570 You know what scares me? 91 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:13,980 That dancing bed. 92 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,470 ♪ When you need to rest your sleepy head ♪ 93 00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:19,100 ♪ Go to "Beds! Beds! Beds!" and buy a bed ♪ 94 00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:22,900 Beds! Beds! Beds! I can work there. 95 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,610 I've spent half my life on a mattress. 96 00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,060 I'm the king of napping. 97 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,580 The California King. 98 00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:31,110 You know, it's a longer mattress than a... 99 00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,050 You know what? You're gonna do great. 100 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,790 A Japanese man saved my father's life once, so... 101 00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:43,460 - you're hired. - I'll take it! 102 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,360 And I'll take my commission in cash, too, if that's cool. 103 00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:48,830 No, I can't put you on sales. 104 00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:50,270 Lucas handles sales. 105 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:54,670 Oh, he's just setting the bait. 106 00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,740 Customers see a doze like that, 107 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,500 they want some for themselves. 108 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,180 Now, you'll be in the back assembling beds, 109 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,980 de-vacuum-packing pillows, 110 00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:05,080 - making coffee. - Sir, please. 111 00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:06,720 I can sell mattresses. 112 00:04:06,820 --> 00:04:08,650 Just give me a chance. 113 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,900 Kid's got a set of springs on him. 114 00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:12,360 All right. Tell you what... 115 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,900 you can work our all-night Halloween Spooktacular sale. 116 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,060 Oh, well I was gonna spend my night in the cemetery, 117 00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,430 but you know what? 118 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,160 I'll be here. I won't let you down. 119 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,620 Why are you throwing away candy? 120 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,710 I am saving the boys some guesswork. 121 00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:32,856 I'm chucking all the Smarties. 122 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,460 Sweet chalk? I don't think so. 123 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,450 Get this... Marvin and Honey 124 00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:39,249 made us a list of baby instructions. 125 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,450 "Ask her permission before you check her diaper. 126 00:04:41,550 --> 00:04:43,390 No peek-a-boo after 4:00 p.m." 127 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,820 "Don't let her watch lacrosse on TV"? 128 00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:47,520 New parents. 129 00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:49,730 Did you tell them how amazing we were with our babies? 130 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,110 Of course, for like an hour. 131 00:04:51,130 --> 00:04:52,310 And they still gave you the list? 132 00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,640 White people love lists. 133 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,330 As if we need baby instructions. 134 00:04:55,430 --> 00:04:56,880 Hey, Evel Knievel, here's how you jump 135 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,700 15 buses on a motorcycle. 136 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:01,469 Let's file this with that recipe for upside-down cake 137 00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:03,370 that Honey gave me. 138 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,870 Alley-oop! 139 00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:07,840 Is this a Mervyn's bag? 140 00:05:07,910 --> 00:05:09,350 When are we gonna stop reusing bags? 141 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,580 We're doing really well. We can buy trash bags. 142 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,660 Aah! 143 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,330 Trent, what are you doing here? 144 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,560 Couldn't let my best bud work the 'ween all by himself. 145 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,420 I did some trick-or-treating on the way over 146 00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:36,386 so you'd have enough chocolate to stay up all night. 147 00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:37,890 Aren't you supposed to be at the cemetery? 148 00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,240 Nah, I stopped by, 149 00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:41,110 but, honestly, what's the big deal? 150 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,920 You think I haven't been to a graveyard before? 151 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,400 I've lost several loved ones. 152 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,520 Die, Satan! 153 00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:50,590 Seemed like he was gonna be a distraction. 154 00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:55,840 I can't believe they thought we were "Men in Black." 155 00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,160 "Men in Black" wear sunglasses, 156 00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:58,790 Mulder and Scully wear badges. 157 00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,460 When I opened the X-Files, I knew there'd be doubters. 158 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,030 People fear the unknown. 159 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,700 We live in it. 160 00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:06,270 The Baby Ruth is out there. 161 00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:07,540 You did it, Mulder. 162 00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:09,540 Trick or treat! 163 00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:12,480 Thanks again for babysitting. 164 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,426 Honey and I are gonna make the most of our night out. 165 00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:17,050 My spinach can is full of rum! 166 00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:18,480 We are so happy to help. 167 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:21,360 In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Louis happier. 168 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,090 It's-a me, Mario, 169 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,090 and my little helper, Yoshi! 170 00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:27,460 There are no girl dinosaurs, Louis. 171 00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:28,790 That's how they got extinct. 172 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,240 Okay! 173 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,760 So fun! 174 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:34,260 Now, don't forget... bedtime is 7:30. 175 00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:36,370 Well, I mean, you know that. 176 00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,230 - You have the list. - Memorized. 177 00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:40,969 You two go enjoy your night. This is nothing for us. 178 00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:43,240 We'll get her down and have time to clean your kitchen, 179 00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,680 - which needs it. - Hi. 180 00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,980 There you go. Aww... 181 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,980 I'm surprised to see the daughter of a dentist 182 00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:51,319 using a pacifier. 183 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,620 That's what I say. 184 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,600 Everybody knows that the suck leads to buck. 185 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,840 Teeth. Buck teeth. 186 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,290 We really need this night out. 187 00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:02,460 Hey, guys, 188 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,990 you're really good with babies. 189 00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:06,180 Do you think maybe you could wean her off it? 190 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,230 - Hallo-wean her off it. - No problem. 191 00:07:08,330 --> 00:07:10,800 We got Eddie to take the paci in one night. 192 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,970 ♪ That with the sun's love ♪ 193 00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:16,340 ♪ In the spring ♪ 194 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:20,140 ♪ Becomes the rose ♪ 195 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,550 Emery was even easier. 196 00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:29,966 Don't forget... you're looking at 197 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:33,039 a couple of seasoned baby whisperers. 198 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,800 Now, go neck in the woods, you crazy kids. 199 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,630 We got this. 200 00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,730 Thank you. 201 00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,640 Put it back in! Put it back in! 202 00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,340 Oh! 203 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,700 - Gosh! - Uh. 204 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,470 This baby's broken! 205 00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,580 We've sung "The Rose" eight times, 206 00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,200 and she still cries for the pacifier. 207 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:57,000 - You must not be in key. - Don't worry. 208 00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:58,870 Costume number two should do the trick... 209 00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,600 Kuato from "Total Recall." You just don't recognize me 210 00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,126 without a mutant baby coming out of me. 211 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,240 This chest hole will be comforting like the womb. 212 00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,900 She won't even miss the paci. 213 00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,520 Open your mind. 214 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,620 I was wrong! Get her out! 215 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,380 - Put her down! Put her down! - Get her out! Ohh! 216 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,120 I don't understand what's happening! 217 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,559 It was so easy with Eddie! 218 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,060 The truth is... 219 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,340 it might not have been as easy with Eddie as you thought. 220 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,830 ♪ The rose ♪ 221 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,979 Louis! You were completely undermining my parenting. 222 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,120 I wasn't undermining. 223 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:43,620 I was collaborating while you were not in the room. 224 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,790 Besides, I only did it once or twice. 225 00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:47,220 A night. 226 00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:49,540 - For a year or so. - Oh, my God. 227 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,970 Well, you were finally getting some sleep. 228 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,530 I didn't want him to wake you. 229 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,330 Eventually, he outgrew the pacifier 230 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,630 and no one was the wiser. 231 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,600 Not being wise is being dumb! 232 00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:58,830 You made me dumb! 233 00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,226 Trick or treat! 234 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,886 I put a sign on the door! 235 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:02,970 Damn this holiday! 236 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,656 Okay, you take Halloween. I'll take the baby. 237 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,790 Apparently, I'm the only one of us who has the stomach 238 00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,410 to do the hard work of good parenting. 239 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,660 Stomach? If that's a dig at my Kuato hole, 240 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,200 you're taking it a step too far. 241 00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:15,980 Okay, here it goes... 242 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,790 sales pitch. 243 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,750 I'm guessing you're a man who runs hot. 244 00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:23,170 You know I am. You make me sit on paper towels 245 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,736 when I come over for "Crash Bandicoot." 246 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,530 Okay, just... You're not Trent. 247 00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,730 You're my pretend customer. 248 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,300 Yes, yes. Please go on. 249 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:30,870 So, you sleep hot, 250 00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:33,840 but say your wife gets easily chilled. Yes, my wife, 251 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,440 Sarah Michelle Gellar, runs cold. 252 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,640 I call her "Buffy the Thermostat Slayer." 253 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,200 Fine. 254 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,710 You and your wife, the gorgeous, famous actress, 255 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,550 will both love this hybrid model 256 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,550 with our patented hot-away foam on top... 257 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,960 Shh! 258 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,720 D-Did you hear that? 259 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,580 Relax. It's just the vibrating function. 260 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,070 The only thing you should be scared of 261 00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:57,190 is a delivery fee, which we waive. 262 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,390 I wasn't scared. Besides, we're safe here. 263 00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:00,780 I locked the door when I came in. 264 00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:02,660 Trent! How am I supposed to sell a mattress 265 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:03,770 if the door is locked? 266 00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:06,600 Not by making excuses like that. 267 00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,940 Trick or treat! 268 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,510 Hello, friends. What have we here? 269 00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:15,460 Britney Spears. Hit me baby one more time? 270 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:18,950 And three Harry Potters! 271 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,299 Please compliment your mothers on your scar makeup. 272 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,940 I did mine myself. 273 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,380 Mm. 274 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,440 Trick or treat! 275 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,700 Weren't you just here, Britney? 276 00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,280 I don't know what you're talking about. 277 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,656 I'm Hermione Granger. 278 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,400 Candy-loriam! Chocolatose! 279 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,300 Mulder? A word. 280 00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:44,570 What do we do? It's the same girl. 281 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,370 Dad said one piece of candy per person. 282 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,210 What if she's telling the truth, Scully? 283 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,110 I want to believe. 284 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:52,280 Fine, but if we run out of candy, 285 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,550 the egging is on you. 286 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,020 Sorry about my partner, Scully. Such a skeptic. 287 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,580 Trick or treat. 288 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,090 I solved the trick-or-treat problem. 289 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,530 Snipping wires is not as stressful 290 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,180 as they make it seem in the movies. 291 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,040 Permission to sniff your bottom? 292 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,900 You brought the baby list? 293 00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:15,240 Uh, no, this is... our will. 294 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,880 I wrote it up while you were gone. 295 00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:18,360 You don't believe in wills. 296 00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:20,520 You said you want to be buried with everything we own. 297 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,110 Give me that. 298 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,950 You dug through our trash? 299 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,180 I was afraid I'd need it. 300 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,796 Funny, I thought you were the only parent here 301 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,140 who had the stomach for all this. 302 00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,580 Okay, fine. 303 00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,850 I may have cut a few corners with Emery. 304 00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:46,100 Shh. 305 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:50,440 _ 306 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,620 You made my mother night-nurse my son? 307 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:55,990 Yes, because of you! 308 00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:57,960 You tricked me into thinking Eddie was perfect. 309 00:11:58,030 --> 00:12:00,210 I didn't want people to think there was something wrong with Emery. 310 00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:01,580 Well, now Marvin and Honey are gonna think 311 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,730 something's wrong with us! 312 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,040 We promised we'd wean Maria off the pacifier. 313 00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:08,140 We don't deserve to be godparents. 314 00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:10,440 We were barely even parents. 315 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,010 We need a hand. 316 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,120 I hear someone can't sleep. 317 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,000 Trick or treat. 318 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,320 Welcome back, Hermione Britney. 319 00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:27,890 As if. I'm Cher from "Clueless." 320 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,360 Mulder? 321 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,720 She's back for a third time 322 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,380 tricking us for treats. 323 00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:36,230 This is everything Dad warned us about. 324 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,170 What if she's a clone? It's Halloween. 325 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,240 Strange things happen. 326 00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,670 It's your show, Mulder. 327 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,650 We need you to wean her off the pacifier 328 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,680 like you did with Emery. 329 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,119 _ 330 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,420 Well, can you take off the knife gloves? 331 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,690 No. 332 00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:55,019 Well, then just tell us. 333 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:56,600 _ 334 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,780 _ 335 00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:01,980 _ 336 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,560 You gave Emery whiskey?! 337 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,260 _ 338 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:08,030 - No whiskey. - Well, that's it. 339 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,370 We're all out of tricks. 340 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,940 Wait. We still had one more baby. 341 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,140 - What did we do with Evan? - Evan was perfect. 342 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,770 He never even took the pacifier! 343 00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:16,486 Damn you, perfect Evan! 344 00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:17,510 - Aah. - Ohh. 345 00:13:17,511 --> 00:13:19,820 _ 346 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,480 That was our only pacifier! 347 00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:24,750 Well... 348 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,300 Now, we call this pillow the faux-down hoedown. 349 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:35,430 Just close your eyes and relax. 350 00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,340 What was that?! 351 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,200 The phone? 352 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,600 The call is coming from inside the store! 353 00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:49,400 You got to chill, man! 354 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,600 That could've been a customer! 355 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,480 Or a killer on the premises. 356 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:55,080 Do you know how many people die from pillow suffocation? 357 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,510 Every witness to every murder 358 00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:58,650 who happens to be in the hospital, for starters! 359 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,080 I'm gonna go get a mop. 360 00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:01,940 Try not to mess anything else up. 361 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,130 Hi! I'm looking for a bed. 362 00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:11,930 I work a graveyard shift and sleep all day, 363 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,400 and my futon from college sucks. 364 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:17,540 Graveyard, sleep all day, sucks? 365 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,570 You're a vampire! I didn't invite you in! 366 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,210 Spirito spirito santi! 367 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:22,640 Spirito spirito santi! 368 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:24,340 Take Eddie! He's full of blood! 369 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:26,880 I'm uncomfortable. So... 370 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,950 Wait! No! 371 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,360 Damn it, Trent. This is my job! 372 00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:47,600 I found six cigar cutters, a maritime compass, 373 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,070 but not a single pacifier. 374 00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,416 Shh! It's okay. It's okay. 375 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,000 I tawt I saw a puddy tat. 376 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,650 Are you kidding me? 377 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,570 I thought the distraction would be good for her. 378 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,880 Okay, for me. 379 00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:01,280 Why can't I find another pacifier 380 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,910 in this entire house? 381 00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:04,320 This is all your fault. 382 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,550 This all started with you sneaking in with Eddie, 383 00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,920 and it ends here with us failing at Maria. 384 00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,720 You're the one who outsourced our parenting to my mom. 385 00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:13,390 Besides, we wouldn't even be in this mess 386 00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:14,959 if you hadn't tried to ruin Halloween. 387 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,580 Well, you're not helping with the outfits. 388 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,899 Every time she sees you, she thinks 389 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,560 you're a terrifying, new stranger. 390 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,240 Don't cry! 391 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,540 It's me... Honey! 392 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,820 I-I-It's me, an older dentist 393 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,100 who loves floral shirts and was in the Navy. 394 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,300 In my day, you were only allowed to cry 395 00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:34,680 if a bone broke through the skin. 396 00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,950 Mama loves you! 397 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,120 Mama wore a halter top the day after you were born! 398 00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,850 What's going on here? 399 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,660 Oh, sweetheart! 400 00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,580 It's okay. Mama's home. 401 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,460 Now, I've had a few, 402 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,100 but did we do a body switch? 403 00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,820 Okay, she's down for the night. 404 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,770 We are so sorry. Louis especially. 405 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:01,040 - The clothes were his idea. - We'll get them washed. 406 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,110 Maybe Jessica will ask my mother to do it. 407 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:05,180 The pants are dry clean only. 408 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,050 Whatever's going on between you two, 409 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:08,720 can it go on in your own home? 410 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,600 This is yours. 411 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,130 I know the timing's not great for this, 412 00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,430 but I could really use a pee buddy. 413 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,770 Storage room is real dark. 414 00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:28,000 Trent, just go to the cemetery. 415 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,940 I can't. Look, the truth is... 416 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,880 I'm scared. 417 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,600 Yeah, I got that. 418 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:37,180 Why do you care so much about selling a mattress? 419 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:39,096 I just wanted to prove that I could make it in a job 420 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,950 that wasn't handed to me by my dad. 421 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,820 You know what? 422 00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:46,150 I'll buy a mattress from you. 423 00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,090 Trent, you don't have to. 424 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,679 I want to. You really sold me 425 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,159 on that hot-away foam earlier. 426 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,630 As my body is changing, 427 00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:55,040 there's a heat radiating from down south. 428 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,030 How much for this bad boy? 429 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,270 - $4,000. - On sale?! 430 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,940 But the gently-used twin in the corner is only $75. 431 00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:05,640 - I'll take it. - Thanks. 432 00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,780 I won't tell the gang you were scared. 433 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,310 Honestly, the cemetery just sounds cold and boring. 434 00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:12,310 And to tell the truth, kind of scary. 435 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,680 - Trent, I know! - Right, right. 436 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,270 Trick or treat! 437 00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:20,240 Ugh, Britney? Again? 438 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,610 No, I'm Mary Katherine Gallagher. 439 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:25,010 Superstar! 440 00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:29,880 Mulder, this has gone too far. 441 00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,180 You're right. It's weird. 442 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,560 The only explanation... she's a shape-shifter. 443 00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:36,650 Wake up, Mulder! 444 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,520 Sorry, that was Scully, not me. 445 00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,290 But I am done with your crazy conspiracy theories. 446 00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:42,590 The truth isn't out there. 447 00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,730 It's right in front of your face! 448 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,740 It's the same girl, and she's not getting any more candy! 449 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,400 Scram, Britney. We know it's you. 450 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,960 Case closed! 451 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,770 You guys are the worst! 452 00:17:59,650 --> 00:18:00,990 Ready, girls? 453 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,880 Ready, Mother. 454 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,920 That last house didn't give me any candy. 455 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:09,700 You were right, Scully. 456 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,560 I let myself get carried away. 457 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,760 Like my sister was carried away by those aliens. 458 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,790 Thanks for keeping me grounded. 459 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,760 That's why we're a good team, Mulder. 460 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,050 We really put our worst godparent foot forward 461 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,159 - last night. - Up late. 462 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,600 Almost overslept. Gotta get to work! 463 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,080 Maybe I'm the reason Eddie's a bad sleeper. 464 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,520 I'm lucky Emery broke his whiskey habit. 465 00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:44,790 I'm gonna draw lines on all our liquor bottles 466 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,220 just in case. 467 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,530 Did we just pass Eddie in a tie? 468 00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:50,680 For a minute there, I thought you got a valet. 469 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,480 If you want us to step down as godparents, 470 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,740 we totally get it. 471 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,600 Oh, of course, we don't want that. 472 00:18:59,670 --> 00:19:01,099 I mean, yes, we did come home 473 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,370 to a real diaper show last night, 474 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,410 but it made us feel better 475 00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:06,980 about the hard time we were having. 476 00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:08,750 Really? We thought we'd blown it. 477 00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:11,820 No. You two are the best parents we know. 478 00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:14,820 Honestly, it was a relief to see you having a tough time, too. 479 00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:17,720 So, the fact that we were so bad made you feel better 480 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,260 - about also being so bad? - Exactly. 481 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,360 And as a little thank you, 482 00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,840 I made my upside-down cake 483 00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,860 - you love so much. - Ohh. 484 00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:27,730 You guys are amazing godparents. 485 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,070 There's no one we'd rather have 486 00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:30,550 take care of this little butterball 487 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,000 when Honey and I go to that big Thanksgiving in the sky. 488 00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:34,140 Oh! 489 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,240 We got to go. 490 00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:38,340 Maria's got seashell class in 10 minutes. 491 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,180 It's what you think it is. 492 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,240 No idea what they're doing. 493 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,750 No idea. 494 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,320 But neither did we. 495 00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:51,060 And our kids turned out pretty great. 496 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,090 'Cause we always had each other's back, 497 00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:55,660 even if it was behind each other's back. 498 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,380 So, should we share everything we've done 499 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,540 without each other knowing? 500 00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:02,379 Of course not. That would be crazy. 501 00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,460 Nothing to tell. 502 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,570 Special delivery for Mommy. 503 00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:10,670 One Evan hug with a side of cheek peck. 504 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,280 What was that for? 505 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,550 After embodying Agent Dana Scully for a night, 506 00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,110 I have a new respect for women. 507 00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:19,120 It is not easy for you. 508 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,920 Let me bus these wrappers. 509 00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:26,890 - Are you sure you didn't... - I never snuck in. 510 00:20:26,990 --> 00:20:28,090 - I swear. - You? 511 00:20:28,190 --> 00:20:29,530 Never, not once. 512 00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:32,100 Huh. We really nailed it with Evan. 513 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,300 - We did. We really did. - Mm-hmm. 514 00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,870 Hey, Evan. Can't sleep? 515 00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:45,110 Me neither. 516 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,880 I'm not scared, but I thought you might be. 517 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,710 Your big bro Eddie is just a night owl. 518 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,300 Man, you won't believe what went down 519 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:56,020 on "Thirtysomething" tonight. 520 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,420 The Steadmans have asbestos. 521 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,680 - Synced and corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --